A gift or wedding registry is actually a particular type of wish list.
Traditionally, a couple would compile a list of items they wished to receive and then handed it out to closest family and friends to spread the word. The need for a registry became more and more popular as couples wanted to avoid receiving 5 toasters and 3 kettles from their guests. Retailers started providing a wish list (gift registry) service where couples could choose the items they wished to receive from their guests and once someone purchased one of these items it was removed from the list. It all started off very simply…
However, in the past few years the traditional concept of the bridal registry has evolved due to the changing needs of couples getting married. There are now companies that can handle cash registries accepting contributions to purposeful, larger items such as a honeymoon, house deposit, art collections and sometimes charity or medical research entities finding a cure for causes close to your heart.
These financial funds for contributions towards a house or a honeymoon are largely popular with couples who already live together and already own all their furniture and appliances. Setting up a registry for a particular interest such as an art collection has also come across our desk – and we loved this idea.
Due to a broad range of views, the question is still asked by many. How do you kindly request for money instead of a physical gift? Some would say you should never ask for money and others would say they understand and find it more convenient. We think it all depends who you are talking to and often what generation or culture they are from, views will vary.
As time has gone on, requesting money is becoming more and more acceptable but we always recommend the request is approached lightly and with consideration. By most standards it is accepted you should never put the gift registry details on your invitation. We always suggest a separate card with registry details as an option or be light and include a thoughtful poem or kind word letting the guest know you prefer cash and perhaps what they would be contributing towards. Alternatively, you can spread the word through your family or friends if you don’t wish to include a gift registry card with your invitations.
Some couples choose to have a wishing well at their wedding. A word of warning, if this is something you are considering, we recommend it be cleared out regularly or minded by your wedding planner. It can be risky as we have heard stories where envelopes could be missing, but there’s no way to tell. This is what you would least expect to happen at a wedding but unfortunately it can. We prefer to use a reputable online cash wedding registry. There may be a small fee associated with this service but you will have the security in knowing that your monetary gifts are protected. Be careful to read the fine print and ask questions as you may find one offers better options for you and your guests overall.
There will always be some guests that would rather go into a store and choose a gift rather than purchase online or donate money through a webpage. If possible, choose a gift registry that allows for both options. Not every guest will feel comfortable with the idea of giving you cash and it is okay for them to feel this way. This is why you should still have a traditional gift registry with some items in conjunction with your cash registry. Just because you enjoy the convenience of the web, Nana may not feel the same.
We also recommend you have a wide variety of gift prices on your registry. More than likely your guests will be in a range of financial situations. Ensuring you have a broad range of gifts in different price brackets will make sure everyone will feel comfortable knowing they are buying you a gift you will enjoy but also fits within their means to give as well.
If you are a guest and asking the question – How much should I contribute? There is an unspoken measure that a guest should cover the general cost of their place at the wedding, in monetary terms this is an average of $100-$150 per head. However we always say give within your means and we’re sure it will be appreciated, and seen as a help in some way.
If you are the one getting married remember to write thoughtful, prompt thank-you notes for all gifts received. Although convenient; e-mails and calls are not acceptable. Try to respond within six weeks of receiving the gift, write a card that references the specific gift and how or why you will enjoy using it.
Share with us your thoughts on wedding registries and any experiences you have had with one in the past, whether your own or as a guest at a wedding.